Day #73 “Despite Everything…”

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Even though today was a good day, I still have an uneasy nervousness about Saturday.  Not that I think it’s going to go bad, it’s just the thought of “will I be able to do my part well?  Will I be able to race to the best of my ability that day?  How am I going to feel?”  Today being a good day didn’t really help that unsettling feeling.  Probably because it’s one of those “calm before the storm” kind of days.  I’m not even guaranteed to race on Saturday, but I see it as I likely am.
This feeling is kind of normal for me and I honestly hate it.  I hate doubting myself and having unnecessary fears about a race.  It’s probably because I just feel some pressure since I haven’t gotten into 5:20’s this track season (except in December) and I’ve just been let down in that race.  At this point, I just want to work so hard everyday and abuse my body into exercise until I get under 5 minutes for my mile.  Call me crazy, but that is how I feel right now.  Not that I’m actually going to train that dangerously ( I know better than that), but I really just have this drive and I feel obligated to get under 5:30 at least.  There’s no reason I can’t so why can’t I?

I know everything I just said totally goes against what I posted yesterday, but I feel like I just had to put that out there.

To end on a happy note, one of my former teammates came back from college today and ran with me and some others on the trails.  It was a pretty good run with good weather and friendly conversation and made the day better.

Run Time: an hour?

Mileage: 8.4 – ish



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